"'Beast' or Famine"

Happy feelings. Everybody’s striving for happy feeeeelings (wiggling fingers sarcastically). I’m all for happy feelings. They’re fun. But they’re just a flash in the pan. Given a choice between a happy feeling now and long term happiNESS, I’d like to think I’d choose happiness – even if it means discomfort for a moment.

Happy feelings are a large part of my relationship with SugarAnne. I would say that it is the general tone of our relationship. And I’m thankful that we’re both contributors. Me, I’m the corny, dorky, silly sorta guy, and she, she’s the free spirit, blowing at the mercy of the wind, fun-loving gal. And the combo makes for a lot of happy feelings.

But when it comes to a spanking (unless it’s a “slap and tickle” or, an I’m “just sittin' here thinking” about spanking my girl), I am not concerned about happy feeeeelings. When SugarAnne is over my knee (or in some other vulnerable position) for punishment, I’m not in the happy feelings business. No, I-am-in-the-happi-NESS business.

In her post “Tuesday Chat”, SugarAnne surmised that yours truly may be viewed by some as "a strict disciplinarian with a permanent scowl on his face, a roar in his voice and a paddle glued to his hand". Whoa! What a picture! My first thought is that that scowl and that roar are probably a painful reaction to trying to scratch m’clackers with a damn paddle glued to my hand!

And, I have learned quiet as it’s kept, that in some chat circles (I don’t know who you are, but you certainly do) I am even referred to as the “beast”. No doubt a moniker playfully encouraged – if not lovingly perpetrated upon me by Her Royal Sweetness herself. But really, am I really a beast?

Here’s what RW (bless her heart) from The Renewed Wife, said in her comment to Sugar’s post:
“So far as how we see BabyMan”, she says, ”I can only speak for myself, but I don't see him as ‘a strict disciplinarian with a permanent scowl on his face, a roar in his voice and a paddle glued to his hand’ at all” (thanks RW). And then she adds with a gentle smirk, a raised eyebrow and a smidgen of reluctant but favorable betrayal, “(sorry, B'Man!)”.

Translation: “I know you wanna be ‘bad’ B’Man” (that’s bad as in “b-double a-d-bad” y’all) “but I can pretty much see through that. You’re actually a teddy bear. And oops, I apologize for letting your little secret out into the blogosphere”.

Hm. Beast? Teddy bear? “Teddy beast”? (shrug) I ain’t saying. This isn’t really an apologetic for either one. As a childhood friend used to say: “I’miz what I’miz; and I’ma’int what I’ma’int”. (Apologies to you grammar purists).

If there’s one thing I’miz: I am a MAN (insert beastly double fist pound to chiseled puffed out chest) who is operating on top of an underlying foundation of love; within the realm of “this thing we do”; under the over-arching consent of Her Royal Sweetness; for the benefit of our happiness. And that means that on occasion I am a man (pound-pound) who will FORsake momentary happy feelings, for THE sake of long-term happi-NESS. Obviously we would prefer to have both always, but sometimes it’s either/or.

Victor Hugo once said: "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved” (okay, maybe I'm channeling Criminal Minds).

But I would rather SugarAnne know with absolute certainty that I love her deeply and am passionately concerned for our long-term happiness. We both agree that means "this-thing-we-do". Yep, I can make her feeeeeel happy for a moment by maybe letting her off the hook – hell, by letting me off the hook. Punishment is not a happy feeling for anybody over here. But I am persuaded that that would eventually lead to a famine in happiness. Go on call me a “beast” (el-o-el!) that’s okay.

But understand, it's either "beast" for famine.