On Tuesday some dirty balloon knot had the gall to break into SugarAnne’s locker and steal everything. EVERYTHING! Clothes, purse, cell phone, house keys, car keys, ID, credit cards and money. E-V-everyfrickin’thing! She had to stop her credit cards, put the credit agencies on alert, suspend cell phone service and, to add insult to injury, go to the Department of Motor Vehicles to replace her driver’s license. And you know what kind of a nightmare the DMV can be. The nerve of some people. I mean, really!
To compound the matter, when yours truly (that’s me) was informed of this vile rape of the soul, I was in the middle of a lunch meeting. Ministry. And for 10 reasons, none important enough to offer a defense, I delayed my arrival for 45 minutes. It might as well been 45 hours as far as she’s concerned. Yep, BabyMan dropped the ball on that one. A thousand apologies, though forgiven, would never be enough to turn back the hands of time to make the correction.
When I arrived on the scene I was greeted with a hundred sobs, a river tears plus an angry eye that could burn a hole right through your medulla oblongata. I mean, if looks could kill my carcass would have been strewn among a parking lot already littered with the bodies of the innocent – and perhaps the guilty party too. If you’ve ever been ripped off like this you know that it makes you feel violated, and angry, and bitter and cynical. And that’s how SugarAnne felt. She never wants to go to that gym anymore.
Over the next few hours I observed the crumbling of SugarAnne’s psyche. A dingy cream of negative thoughts and unproductive feelings begin to rise to the top: feelings that this thing was her fault; thoughts that she deserved for it to happen to her; and the worst (because of the ripple effects: I had to leave work early; have the locks changed; replace her pocket money; and get her a new phone), a feeling that she is a burden to me. An edginess descended upon her usually sunny disposition that my verbal reassurances could not seem to penetrate. It became apparent that I would have to perform “reconstructive surgery” so to speak.
When I told her to pull her shorts and panties down she was surprised.
“Why?!” she exclaimed in protest.
“Because you need this. I’m here to take care of you”, I replied with loving firmness.
I left the den to get my “surgical tools”. I knew I’d need at least 2 implements for this procedure. I returned with three. I sat down on the sofa and guided her over my lap. The belt right out of my work slacks functioned as my scalpel. It made the initial incision and was used to extract the poison.
“You did not deserve this honey”, I said gently. Tap-tap, tappity-tap. The strokes were light and airy, just enough to make her maturity jiggle. It was the verbal caress that opened a floodgate of tears and accompanying sobs.
“This is not your fault sweetie”. More tap-tap, tappity-tap-tap-tapping – and cued by sobs - an occasional WHAP!WHAP! on both globes. I leaned on my elbow to bring my face close to her crying eyes.
“You are not a burden to me baby”. I spoke tenderly and gently rubbed her behind giving it a squeeze here and there as if to force the poison out of her. It was not yet warm to the touch. But that would change.
The “weapon of ass destruction”, our tried and true, and most often used paddle, would act as a hypodermic needle. It would inject the love necessary for re-calibrating her mindset. With the WAD I had her climb a couple of hills. At the bottom I started with slow and gentle strokes. I spoke to her lovingly. I reassured her of my commitment to her. Then I rained the strokes down with ever-increasing speed and intensity - the top of the hill being the most intense. By then she was wiggling her maturity. And finally, I eased her down to the bottom with slow and gentle strokes with more reassurance that I absolutely love taking care of her. After we were done climbing, her bottom was warm and tender to the touch; her eyes moist with tears of cathartic release; and her heart was reassured that she’s no trouble at all.
After the poison had been extracted and the love injected, “Heatstroke”, the dreaded, hated, feared short handle bath brush would essentially weld the incision closed. This is a tough implement. It is known to leave a sting that lasts for hours and marks that last for days. But it’s only tough when it's used toughly. That wasn’t the case in this procedure. This was strictly “sew up” (although a few of the strokes added much needed endorphins in an effort to ward off a relapse).
Now, I want to remain tasteful here (an obvious sign of growth on my part), so I’ll just say afterward we made love. Words wouldn’t aptly describe it no way no h0w. But it was passionate and powerful, and powerful and passionate. I took her, and she gave herself to me.
Has she fully recovered? Let’s just say she’s was out of the ICU in a few hours and she’s feeling much better. It ain’t all good. There’s still recovery going on. She’s feels good a little bit here; angry a little bit there; vindictive on occasion; and then she feels good again.
But one thing’s for sure, she certainly feels loved. Prognosis? She’s gonna be all right.
I think she is going to be okay as well....but that was one angry woman you had to deal with. I believe the words, "He needs a spanking!" were said a few times. Although it may have been me who planted that seed into her mind.
ReplyDeleteI think you did exactly what she needed although at the time she probably wouldn't have agreed with you. She needed the release that only you are able to provide her.
Yes, people are jerks! And there are a lot of them out there. That's why I love my dog. Soooooooo if you really want to make it up to her and don't get mad at me for this one......BUY HER A DOG!!!!! LOL.
Great post BabyMan!
Nurse Janet:
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prognosis. However your prescriptive recomendations are like the seeds that fell on the path. Those bad, bad birds just ate them all up.
Nurse Janet...don't make me come out there! LOL!
No love lost. ;) Thanks for the comment.
Oh, that SUCKS! Sorry about the bad luck. I know the feeling though, someone jacked my car a few years ago, taking most of what was in it, including everything that SA had taken, and I walked out to find doors wrenched open and the remnants of my personal belongings strewn across the parking lot. To say that some people are "vile" would be quite an understatement. I believe that, at the time, someone had had to restrain me and keep me from screaming at the poor police officer whom I called and filed a report with.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that Sugar is lucky to have you (even if you WERE late)and I'm glad she's okay and slowly feeling better. :)
Hang in there.
Jenn
wow, that totally sucks about Sugar Anne's stuff being swiped. Luckily she has you around! Loved the way you told the story... my favorite line "weapon of ass destruction", lol.
ReplyDeleteHope you both are doing well.
Cowgirl
I'm sorry to hear SugarAnne had such an upsetting experience. Isn't it nice to have a simple way to reconnect and release pent up emotion.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you both had to go through this, and so glad you had the tools and the wherewithal to help her through. I hope the recovery is speedy!
ReplyDeleteBabyman,
ReplyDeleteThat late, huh? Glad you stepped in there when you did, though, and the mending between the two of you is taking place. The feeling of having been violated though, will take healing time. I'm praying for her.
Kady
BabyMan, so sorry SugarAnne had some jerk do that it makes me so mad to hear. You gave her just what she needed. She's a lucky lady.
ReplyDeleteLove to you both and a big hug for SugarAnne,
Ronnie
xx
Sorry SugarAnne had to go through that. Hopefully, the scumbag will get caught. It sounds like the surgery you performed helped to heal the soul quickier. I love your blog, you are an amazing writer.
ReplyDeleteKatia
Yes Jenn, that truly SUCKS! Thanks for your sentiment and sorry about your experience too.
ReplyDeleteCowgirl, thanks for your sentiment as well. “Weapon of Ass Destruction”? Everyone should have one. We are doing much better today.
Serenity: You’re right about BOTH of us having to go through this. The ripple effects disharmonized the harmony. Be we are back on solid ground again. Thanks for your comment.
Sara: Thanks. It’s good to have the tools. Kudos to our TTWD “neighborhood” from whom we’ve learned so much. Recovery is coming along great.
Kady: Yes, “that late”. Thanks for your earnest prayers. They have great power and have already produced wonderful results.
Ronnie: Anger by proxy, I love it! Thanks Ronnie. I’ll pass both the love and the hugs along to the “lucky” SugarAnne. Thanks for the compliment.
Katia: Hopefully she’ll never have to experience anything like that again. The scumbag will likely get away. The surgery was a success. The recovery is going along swimmingly. We’re looking forward to a great weekend. Thanks for the compliment and the comment.
Poor SugarAnne, it sounds like you gave her exactly what she needed and I'm glad the surgery was such a success. Sounds like she's very lucky to have a man like you who knows just the right thing to do at the right time.
ReplyDelete((hugs)) to SugarAnne and I hope that you both have an enjoyable weekend.
Emilie
BabyMan -
ReplyDeleteOnce again, another great post! You really do have a gift when it comes to words, lol...
So sorry to hear about SugarAnne's stuff being taken like that. Can't say it's happened to me, although I did have my credit card number stolen once (which is nothing in comparison, of course!).
The whole idea of "reconstructive surgery" is one TC and I are still working on getting figured out. It's so easy for us women to feel like we're burdening our husbands - for me it's health issues that cause it, but it's different for different women. I know all too well the emotional funk that type of thinking can get one into, and how hard it can be to get out of said funk. I'm glad you and SugarAnne have found what works for you, and I'm thrilled to hear she's recovering nicely!
Thanks for posting...
-RW
Good job BabyMan, Poor Sugar, Im so sorry she had to go through this, so violating. Im glad you love her so.
ReplyDeleteThanks Emilie. We’re doing pretty good her and I. We both seem to be getting what we need. She’s out and about and up and at ‘em. The weekend looks bright.
ReplyDeleteRW: The theft was a bummer. But the gym is giving us 3 months of free membership to make up for the losses. That’s a really cool thing.
Yes, the “burden” thing. Feeling like a burden to TC is probably more of a burden than being a burden. But that’s probably going to work it self out. If not, as we grow it will surely make a less frequent appearance.
Recovery is going well. Thanks for the thanks.
Galwaygiirl:
Thanks. Me too. Yes I do.
And…thank you.
I'm really sorry to hear about this. That's rough. And doesn't feel crummy to be so busy taking care of others needs that you don't realize the one you love the most needs you the most at that moment.
ReplyDeleteMick: Crummy yes; very crummy. But, in the words of one Dan Fogelberg, "Lessons learned are like bridges burned; you only need to cross them but once". Thanks for your comment.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, the DMV is a nightmare! Someone should be in big trouble for making her go the place of eternal waiting in line!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, to SugarAnne, I'm so sorry that happened to you, I would be very upset too.
Ally
Thanks Ally. Sorry about YOUR eternal wait for my response. ;)
ReplyDelete