The way it affects SugarAnne is even more sudden. I have to keep my eye on Her Royal Sweetness around this time of year. Stay on my dominant P’s and Q’s. The mornings are particularly tough for her. It’s SAD really: Seasonal Affective Disorder: the dragging around of the body, the sagging of the eyes, and the laborious sorrow in her voice. It’s not difficult to detect. I don’t share the affliction but I do share the pain (at least some of it) and also the affect that it can have our relationship.
When we began “this thing we do” it was well after fall started last year. So we haven’t crossed this dimly lit, change of season bridge until now. As a matter of fact, depression hasn’t been an issue for us at all over the past 10 months. I don’t know why. I’m not a psychologist. I’m just trying to avoid the potholes. But it’s hard to see in this dark. I can’t see where I'm going. I think she’s gonna need my help during this change of season. But I can’t see what's coming. I’m not a psychic.
“I love you sweetie. We’re in this thing together. No matter what.”
I mounted her. She winced beneath me. We made love. A tender kinda love. She, tinged with desperation to be saved; me, desperate to save; and we, both knowing that neither had completely occurred. The battle would no doubt be revisted. It all seemed to lift her spirits a little bit though. But I don’t know. I mean, our thoughts are exclusively our own aren’t they. When it comes to knowing the thoughts of others, SugarAnne included, I’m not telepathic; just tele-pathetic.
But it’s obvious I’m doing something right. We’re doing something right. Because when she closed out our online chat later in the morning she typed:
“I love you. Thanks for this morning I actually feel better. But that loopy really hurts!”
The Loopy! Oh...... NO!!!!!!!! The Loopy??? The words "tender" and "Loopy" don't belong in the same post. I am glad though, that it was instrumental in helping SugarAnne to feel better. Fall is a hard time, as it signifies to me the death of summer. Good for you in giving her the "Jump Start" she needed.
ReplyDeleteKady
It's wonderful that you see so clearly what she needs and even if it's the loopy (I'm so with her on that one), she appreciates it.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
mouse
You're on the right track but you need to find the right implement for the job. Maybe something a little less painful than the loopy. Something that says 'I'm not kidding, I won't allow you to slip into depression" but not something to really fear and dread.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I first went to college at 18. I was fine, loved it and wasn't homesick a bit. Then day light savings time went off and all I could think of that Sunday was 'I want my mama!' The lack of sun really has an effect. You know you're welcomed to head south, it's a little better here.
Hugs,
PK
Kady:
ReplyDeleteYes, the Loopy! I’ll have to agree somewhat with the assertion that the words tender and Loopy don’t belong in the same post. Even though the drop of the implement was carried largely by gravity, it apparently still has a “shock” to it. I’m glad I took it “easy”. Thanks for the advice.
mouse:
I can’t say I clearly see what she needs…but I do know what’s been working for us over the past few months. Why would it stop working now? I’m sure she appreciates your agreement about the loopy. Thanks for the advice.
PK:
It’s good to be on the right track. But I guess it’s unanimous so far: NOT THE LOOPY! Point taken ladies. I may have been a bit zealous to try out the loopy, but I was not overzealous in it usage. I let gravity do most of the work. I’m glad I found out its effect before I unwittingly used it improperly in the "correct" situation. And……thanks for the advice.
BabyMan -
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're on top of your game in helping SugarAnne through this. As the two of you go through this together, communication will be key. She needs to be open with you about what helps, what doesn't, and what she needs when she needs it. Knowing you two, I'm sure you'll pull through this together and end up with an even greater understanding of each other than before.
Oh, and the loopy? I'll give you a hint: YES - it hurts like the dickens (I swear that thing has little teeth hidden away somewhere - they come out just before striking, and disappear after their job is done), BUT - used appropriately in a lighter manner with occasional harder swats and some light rubbing of the loopy across legs, back, and a sore bottom, the loopy can be a wonderful de-stressing tool. It takes practice, but because the loopy is such a flexible implement, it has become TC's favorite one to use. Just a bit of info for you from one who's been there... ;)
-RW
Do you have a tawse? It's more versatile than a loopy in my opinion-- it seems to have a wider range of sensations depending on how it's used, whereas the loopy just plain hurts, in my experience as a bottom.
ReplyDeleteOne word for why TTWD works so well for depression,fibromyalgia AND other ailments. ENDORPHINS!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to knowing the thoughts of others, SugarAnne included, I’m not telepathic; just tele-pathetic.
ReplyDeleteAww come on BabyMan, you can't be tele- pathetic. after all you are a sugarologist!
And I'm sure being forewarned is forearmed, so you both will get through fall unscathed :)
take care
Wow, that is awesome that it had that affect on her. I wonder if some day psychiatrists with be prescribing spankings?!? :)
ReplyDeleteAs a psychologist, I appreciate how hard SAD can be to experience. While it sounds like you and your wife have been finding things that work for her, I would also look into therapeutic tools. People with SAD have had success with special lamps or other tools that mimic sunlight. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteMeg
RW: Thanks for the encouragement – and the advice on the loopy (TC’s favorite? That TC is m’man!) Hopefully you’re right about us pulling through with a greater understanding of each other. I would love that. And I love hearing from ya Sis.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: Tawse? Hmm. I’ll look into it. That might be a good bit of advice. Thanks!
Scunge: EXACTLY!
Alujna: What a wonderfully insightful comment! And I love the hope of coming through the fall unscathed. Thanks.
Ally: A prescription? From a psychiatrist? Some day perhaps. But spankings are hard enough without having to get them out of those “adult proof” little bottles.
Meg: A lamp? Wha-?!! I can’t spank her with that!!! It would hurt more than the loop Johnny don’t ya think?! : )))) But seriously, we have a lamp. I call it “the nebula”. Frickin thing’ll make the sun go dim. It has been moderately effective in the past and we will certainly use it. Thanks for the reminder.
This really can be a hard time of year.I'm glad you were able to help Sugaranne with the 'jump start'.
ReplyDeleteLoopy? Yikes! Ok that's all I'm saying about it.*smile*
Misty
Thanks Misty: I feel like a great help. She's been much better the past couple of days. "Yikes!" is enough. : )))
ReplyDeleteI agree that a lamp just doesn't work as well :). I'm glad ttwd has worked so well for her depression. Doesn't it feel nice to have something you can actually do that helps--plus it's fun :).
ReplyDeleteMick: I agree on all counts. Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteHi BabyMan!! Long time no talk. Im so glad you take good care of Sugar through this terrible time. I live where winters are long, grey and hard. Depression is not uncommon and I feel for her. A loopy though? I really hate ours!! As long as it does the job I guess. Keep up the good work my friend. Hugs, Galway
ReplyDeleteThanks G: It's nice to be encouraged.
ReplyDelete"They" call it Autumn, not "fall".
ReplyDeleteUmmm, I feel so ignorant. What's a loopy?
ReplyDeletesin:
ReplyDeleteGoogle image "loopy johnny". Oh...you're not ignorant. Just lucky.