"TenderStrong"

Although I have a green streak of envy, I do not consider myself – nor do I try to position myself – to be “THE guy” in any situation. In this TV ad “the most interesting man in the world”, although an extreme caricature, is “THE guy”: the type of guy that sometimes knocks me off of my square. He’s the stud; he’s the man among men among men. He’s the “alpha male”. Check him out.



I’ve got the “man” part down pat. I am that. But would an alpha be peeking into his shorts right now to make sure? (“There’s the li’l fella, good!”). No definitely not. An alpha wouldn’t “peek”. He’d just LOOK! (“There’s the li’l fella, good!”).

Like “the most interesting man in the world”, “I don’t always drink beer” either (maybe there’s hope for me huh?). “’But when I do I drink’ a half of shot of Corona in my margaritas” (okay, it’s hopeless). Margaritas so un-alpha (Morgan straight; gin and tonic maybe; martini – “shaken, not stirred” perhaps – but, heaven forbid! not margaritas!). And the would-be slogan, “I don’t always drink beer but when I do I prefer to drink a half of shot of Corona in my margaritas” just doesn’t work. Go on, ask any ad exec!

I am self-conscious. I probably care more about what people think of me than “the most interesting man in the world” does. He’s clearly not self-conscious at all. To my credit I consider wisdom a noble pursuit. This guy is prone to impetuous daring do, death defying feats or life threatening adventures. But guess what? I dig that about him!

If for some reason you were under the impression that I am some sort of an “alpha male” (admittedly an impression I would love for you to have), I’m here to confess that I am not. Through SugarAnne’s most recent post on attentive reunions I am exposed as perhaps a bit needier than any alpha would ever confess to be.

Affectionate "departures" from and attentive "reunions" with SugarAnne are important to me. They are equally important for different reasons. More than important – they are actually a need. An affectionate departure is an emotional covering for my day at work and my encounters with the world at large. And an attentive reunion is a soft pillow that eases the tension of the day and sets the tone for our evening.

That may be a little too tender for some. Call me beta man, omega man, or whatever the hell you want. I don’t care. I’m just telling you what’s best for our relationship. And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep an open flow of love and affection and to achieve what is best for this relationship. And if that’s a little to strong for some, you can put it all together and just call me TenderStrong.

If you see me nipping (like a love struck puppy) at the heels of Her Royal Sweetness on Submission Day (aww, how tender!), it’s just to save her from getting a royal tan on her royal behind for absent minded unannounced wandering (strong).

I dig chick flicks and I like to cuddle after we make love (tender).
You got something to say about that?! (strong).

Perhaps I’m saved into alpha by the fact that I wouldn’t know a pair of Pradas from a pair of Payless AND I am not willing to learn (strong). But if they look girly, I’ll compliment my woman almost every time (tender).

I’ve heard, “You’re like a brother to me” (I’m tender like that) probably ten times as much as I’ve seen a sly wink that said “Get over here and fuck me”. But that doesn’t make me feel weak. I strive to make sure MY woman knows she’s her own woman. I’m strong like that.

I have a bad habit of speaking softly to be intentionally unintimidating (tender). And I’m laid back until I’m pushed. But when I’m pushed, I push back hard (strong).

I confess that Melissa Manchester’s “Through the Eyes of Love” has caught me off guard a couple of times this year as I look at our relationship through the lens of “this thing we do”. (What th-?! What is this foreign substance coming out of my eyes?!) I’m tender like that.

But if I have authority by virtue of rank, position or permission, I might let you take enough rope, over enough time (tender) to hang yourself like Haman. But eventually I’ll execute that authority with direction, purposefulness and intensity. Go on, ask Sugar if I won’t glaze those cupcakes when it’s necessary (strong).

But here’s the thing: I’m tender enough to look into the shine of SugarAnne’s well spanked behind and use the reflection to shave away the ugly stubble of my own shortcomings (strong).

I’ve never been questioned by the police because I’m so interesting.
And I don't got no beard - not like his anyway.

And unlike “the world’s most interesting man”, when my heart bleeds it hurts like hell and it don’t smell like no cologne. It stinks.

But I'm okay with that. That's because I’m “TenderStrong”.