"Tempted By the Fruit of Her Royal Sweetness"

Most often I’m the sexual aggressor in this relationship. I prefer it that way. But SugarAnne “offered up” a “bribe” of sorts this morning. It was subtle and I admit I love the fact that she would offer me sex; that she would attempt this bribe, however unintentional and/or subtle, to get out of a punishment.

Although I had not yet addressed the issue, we both knew that she became a victim of “chat distract” yesterday. We both knew that if she hadn’t been on that darn computer (that “craptop” as I think of it sometimes), she would not have left an assigned task in a half finished state – a definite indication of distraction.

It could be that she thought that sex would soften me up somehow; make me nice about the whole thing. Or even cause me to forget. Perhaps it was an attempt to diminish my courage; thwart my ability to execute my disciplinarian responsibilities; leave me drained of motivation and resolve to strongly encourage the necessary corrections. Or, maybe she just feels like having sex when she’s in trouble. I don’t know. I’m not even sure that her “bribe” was conscious scheme.

I admit that I love the fact that she would offer me sex. I love that she would attempt this bribery – if indeed that’s what it was. I don’t fault her for it. I love her for it. After all, “she’s the one who’s gonna get spanked. So one would expect her to use (and she has every right to use) every tool of manipulation at her disposal” (I thank Sara for that eye-opening nugget).

Her attempt lets me know that she knows that her sweet plum has value to me. I was tempted, I confess. “Clyde” (her monthly) had been hanging around. And it’d been more than a few days since a brother had had his needs met. But my passing on this "opportunity" also lets her know that SHE – her total being – has much more value to me than a mere subset: her pussy (I say it that way because for all practical purposes, in my mind, that’s exactly what was being offered – her pussy. Oh, yeah, and I also love word). Was I interested? Does pacman like to chew up on those little blue dudes? Hell yes I was interested! But I’m more interested in the whole Sugar – not just in dipping my cane. If I had given in and not punished her I could possibly lose her respect.  If I had given in and punished her anyway, she might carry resentment.

In the moment of the offer I was convinced that there would be a certain amount of security for her in my passing on it. Not only security that I am self-controlled when I’m out and about in a world that offers sex, in one form or fashion, at every turn. But also secure that she won’t be able to control the situation with the fruit of Her Royal Sweetness (as delicious as it is!) My response, I think, let her know that I am still in control of me AND this situation; that the walls of the city can not be so easily broken down; that I am still in charge; and that I am the HoH she needs. The stark reality is - the stark reality HAS to be: she doesn’t want me to be that weak. She really doesn’t want me to be a pussy for pussy.

Listen, there’s a greater pleasure that is beyond the immediacy of sex, even with the one you love. The greater pleasure is to make a deposit in her growth – and our growth together. That’s what “this thing we do” is all about for us: growth as individuals and the growth of our relationship.