A 21 Day Salute

It’s been 21 days since we seriously began exploring “this thing we do”. I’m still assessing my developing Domdentity. And SugarAnne her Subdentity, I suppose. We both must be wondering how far we may want this experiment to pervade our relationship. I’m personally wondering if this exploration will confirm us spankos, or perhaps, show us the swinging gate when the domestic discipline joy ride is over. And to that end I have to ask: Has this been good for us? Not just a good experience, but good – for our relationship.

Before we began this of TTWD our life was in serious – I mean serious – turmoil. We were barely speaking nearly 3 weeks running. We had “issues” but I couldn’t bring them up. SugarAnne suffers with depression – most notably as summer fades to fall. A bout of depression could be triggered at any moment. I had grown reluctant to address our issues for fear of triggering an episode. She “disappears” when she’s depressed. So I bottled up a lot of the things that concerned me. Consequently, I was lugging around a truckload of resentment and aggravation. Add to that our sex life. Nature, it seems, found great joy in dealing us the Joker. Some kind of cruel joke had been played on our sex life. What I desired – and needed – irritated her. And what she desired - and needed - she wouldn’t communicate. So I shut down – not strategically but as an unavoidable consequence.

We were in dire straights, living like two roommates who wanted to but couldn’t reach each other. Our marriage had always been built on three things: commitment to God; commitment to marriage; commitment to love. I began to check the structure of our marriage. The foundation was there: a commitment to God – still strong. But the pillars – commitment to marriage and commitment to love – were screaming for a sealant. Cracks were evident. I don’t like the idea of divorce – who does? But thoughts were beginning to sneak in to my consciousness. Then we had this talk.

Over the past 21 days exploring TTWD has been a spark to communication. As we seriously consider this lifestyle we have been inspired to share our feelings about it – both likes and dislikes. We have had open and honest communication on other things as well. We have had genuine love and affection. And we have made wild and passionate love.

If it were up to her they’d all be “good girl” erotic spankings. She “hates” the punishment spankings – I've had to give her two so far and another that seemed like a punishment – but she can’t deny the benefit: We’re in stupid love (tongue in cheek on the stupid).

I admit TTWD has been like a defibulator that has revived our relationship. A relationship neither of us wanna lose. Here’s a salute to 21 days of hope.