"An Inspired "A" Game

I witnessed a car accident on the way home from work about a week ago. I caught the offending vehicle out of the corner of my eye as it passed me on the left. From the moment I saw it, it seemed that time warped and everything slowed down. The impact on the hindquarters of the offended car, and the resulting offended vehicle’s head-on slam into a light pole, I absorbed with uncharacteristic high definition clarity.

I’ve always admired – and perhaps a been a bit intimidated by – men who are able to step up to sudden challenges in stressful situations. Men who are “steady” – as they say. Invariably, so it seems, these are men who are also confident, intelligent, witty and wise. They are the kind of men who are able to spit in the face of danger when an unannounced threat or an uninvited emergency makes its sudden appearance.

I am by no means the so-called “alpha” dog. The stark reality is that there are far to many moments, I think, when I manufacture steadiness, when I borrow intelligence and when wisdom is perceived but not really there. That’s not a totally bad thing - certain situations call for self-controlled persons (manufactured or spontaneous) who are able to execute for the benefit of every one around them. Among some of my circle of friends, acquaintances and co-workers I may be perceived to be just that kind of guy: a steady kind of guy. (That’s no pat on the back so don’t worry about the strain on my rotator cuff).

But I have to admit over the past week or so; I’ve been feeling sincerely steady lately. Operative term: “sincerely”. Nothing fake or fabricated just living out what’s been welling up from inside. Yes, I’ve been quick witted in social situations, pointedly decisive when necessary, and calm, cool and confident in the face of stress (ow…okay, a little strain on the rotator cuff right there).

I first began to notice it – this steadiness – the day SugarAnne and I talked about our “hypothetical destination”. That was the day I saw the car accident. It seems “this thing we do” is a caldron of hope bubbling up from way down deep in the recesses my soul. It seems the caldron is cooking up my “A” game: The best me from way down deep.

As the slow motion situation was unfolding I was reaching simultaneously for my phone and my car door. I was dialing 911 and looking both ways to cross at the same time. I was assessing the well-being of a driver 33 feet away and formulating in my mind the fewest amount of words to convey the situation to the operator. AND, I was seeing myself do these things.

Mind you, I usually carry my “A” game around with me. And frankly, it’s quite a burden. Albeit, sometimes necessary. But since this world of “this thing we do” has opened up and allowed me and SugarAnne to peek in, my “A” game is carrying Me around. And let me tell you, there’s a world of difference between the weight of a WILLED “A” game and the weight of an INSPIRED “A” game.