Monday, January 3, 2011

“Making Love Outta Nothing at All”

Don’t think I didn’t want to. I did. I certainly felt like it. We’d been doing it like rabbits lately. But I just wanted to talk – about nothing. Talk about nothing in particular. Talk more to a “who” than about any what”. So we covered the blog rolls, just like we do each morning:

“Sara said…” (insert such and such).
         “Oh she agrees with me good!” (Glee is more than a TV show).
“And Audra did…” (insert so and so).
         “Oh that’s great I can’t wait to see it!”
“Did you read Daisy’s joke?”
         “Doughboy? Yep, hilarious!”

But I wasn’t at the desktop nor she at the laptop. We were in bed. Lying down. She on her back. Me on my stomach. Just talking. No computers. Talking about nothing in particular. Talking more to a “who” than about any “what”.

Out of the background Law and Order interjects. It’s not an interruption. It’s provision for what’s happening:

“Not guilty.”
       “No, gwilty”, a patented bastardization of the English.
“Not guiiiiiilty”, as if a sing-song would make it so.
       “Gwiiiiiilty! Gwilty, gwilty, gwilty.” The pronunciation as irritating as the opinion.

I flip onto my back and, as if connected by gears, she – onto her stomach. My thirsty hand falls upon her behind. SMACK!


Out of the future the coming year penetrates and takes its place as impromptu fodder for this everyday confabulation:

“I have so much to do today.”
       “Don’t over do it today.”
“I’m starting my new diet.”
       “Take it easy at the gym today.”
“I’m not doing too bad. I’ve only put on 4 pounds.”
       “We have a great future behind you. Don’t go and ruin it y'hear?”

She subtly pushes our aforementioned “future” up to drink a squeeze from my hand.

"The more the merrier."

The ingrained ritual is now complete. But it’s not a prelude to having sex today. But that doesn't mean love isn't being made. Actually, love IS being made.

Don’t think I didn’t want to. I did. I certainly felt like it. We’d been doing it like rabbits lately. But I just wanted to talk – about nothing. Talk about nothing in particular. Talk more to a “who” than about any what”.

That is how love is made.


  1. Awwww, how flattering that I am mentioned in conversation! What a lovely account of a couple just communicating...sweet! xxxxxxxxxx

  2. You are both one smart couple to know that there is more to loving than being "rabbits"! A wonderful post to read.

  3. Some of my favorite times with the Boss Man are just us hanging out and talking about nothing. Love the post B'Man.

  4. B'Man
    Enjoying the nothings means the realationship is good. When a moment of nothing becomes something to write's really, really good! Here's to more of lifes little nothings to you both!

  5. B'Man - Thanks for such an insightful post. It certainly gave me some food for thought. Over here, we are unable to engage in too much "rabbit play," because we simply cannot run the risk of little rabbits running over here to stay (and we don't agree with one of the ways in which chemical rabbit prevention works). This rules out two whole weeks each month of "rabbit play." A certain visitor takes up another week of the month, and the final week is sometimes eaten up by my health, TC's work schedule, etc.

    Sometimes I feel bad and wish I could be more rabbit-like for TC, but alas, it's just not possible at this point. Thank you for reminding me that love is made in the simple moments like those you wrote about, and not just in the rabbit play young couples can't always engage in as much as they'd like. Great post! ;-)


  6. Intimacy takes a lot of different forms. Sounds like a nice evening.

    But I like the rabbit routine, too.

  7. That was really nice, and yeah, I do believe that IS how long term, till death do we part, forever and ever, real life real love is made!

  8. Daisychain: Yapping more than communicating. But then, that's can be the best kind of communicationg can't it? And what are you talking about, you're a running topic of conversation around here.

    abby: Being smart enough to know is a blessing and having the opportunity is pure joy. Rabbits should have it so good! Glad you enjoyed.

    Baby Girl: I know what you mean. It's times like these where nothing is really something. Glad you and Bossman know the experience.

    Tammy: (clink-clink) I'll drink to that!

    RW: That's quite a challenge you two have over there. These simple moments are like magic in a relationship. With the magic you two have you must be pulling rabbit after rabbit out of your hats.

    "Hey Mick: 'Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat'".
    Yes, Again and again and again. Yeah, the rabbit routine ain't bad. But I would trade it for this anyd - ah...well...never mind.

    Sara: Agreed. I appreciate the emphasis AND the exclamation. Glad you liked.


  9. B'man~ Loved this post! I do love those times when Craig and I lay around and just talk, its almost more important than the rabbit routine. We can learn alot from rabbits! :-) Practice makes perfect! Right? lol

    I Love that I made it into your conversation!! You have made it into ours too! lol. Especially Sugaranne's ruling!! So awesome! You two are very special, and I love hearing how you connect, and the humor your bring to life!

  10. Nice post man. I know exactly where you're coming from. I've got rabbit-esque tendencies like none other, but there's something about basking in the simple intimacies a romantic relationship offers that can't be matched by any sensation or action. Well done.

    Boss Man

  11. This is a wonderful intimate love each other connection... I miss it... I know how good it feels and I am so happy for you guys

  12. Hello. I think this is my first comment here. I'm not a DD'er, so I usually don't have a lot to say to your posts, although I like to read them (perhaps creepily?).

    Anyhoo, I loved this post. Maybe on the surface it looks nothing more than casual banter but I think these sort of "nothing," yet intimate, moments are beautiful.

  13. Audra: Yes you made it into our conversation but only after a grueling court battle. When the defense had the nerve! to cloud the discussion with facts, I had nothing left but the moral high ground. Make your check payable to: Sweet Polly Purebread.

    Boss Man: Thanks for the visit. I'm glad you can relate. These moments can be rocket fuel for our rabbit-esque tendencies. I'm not yet mature enough to say that they "can't be matched by any sensation or action"? But I admire your maturity. Pray for me.

    Elaina: Welcome to the blog! It's clear you're going through a season where this is unavailable to you. I hope that ends soon and your life is filled with the joy of moments like these. Many have been envious and even hateful. But you, I thank you for being happy for us.

    Beth: Welcome to you as well! If you were being creepy at all (and I don't think you were) you are definitely less creepy (even though you're not) now that you have de-lurked. I'm glad you loved the post. Yes, "nothing" can be everything - and quite beautiful to boot.

  14. I love the times that I can lay next to Paul and listen to him and talk about nothing. It is great just connecting on that level.

  15. Oh, MY!!! I AM???? Wowzers..... I'm not even a topic of conversation in my OWN home....LOL xxxxx

  16. Annie: "Connecting" that's the key. I'm glad you enjoy those times too.

    Daisy? Daisy who? xx

  17. B'Man, I too am a lurker, and although I don't practice ttwd, I do enjoy reading your posts and learning what true love is!! Keep the posts coming as I enjoy reading them :)

  18. wow it must be de-lurking week.... (gwilty as charged!) love your blog...sugar's too.

    I love that kind of love-making. Well, the other kind too... Only problem is that it makes it even harder to peel ourselves out of bed when duties call.

  19. Anonymous: That you can learn what true love is here in this blog is humbling. Thank you for de-lurking. I'm glad you enjoy reading here.

    mumblefish: LOL @ gwilty. Yes, it's mornings like these that make it difficult to drag myself to work. But waddayagonnado? y'know? Looks like you de-lurked and started blogging too! I enjoyed your first post. I hope you stick with it. Thanks for reading here.

  20. Sweet post...I have been trying to catch up on your and SugarAnne's posts sine we had been out of the country for awhile. I agree that it's so important to have balance in all aspects of your marriage. It's nice to see this side to you guys! Great post!

  21. Judy: Glad your back and all caught up. I hope your travels were fun. See, we're not so bad huh? Glad you enjoyed.

  22. B'Man, I am playing ketch-up now too. Just last night, JJ and I were sitting and talking (can't say chatting--that word has a whole new meaning now) and it felt so good. I wasn't fighting for his attention from the tv, computer, his little league basketball team, his clients, his office, etc. It was he and me and just nothin'. I felt loved. Thanks for helping me appreciate the little things in life that give the foundation for the big picture in life.


  23. What a great post. I feel like Sean and I have had some really growing together the last week or so (not without bumps in the road), but alas, I can't remember the conversation or how. (He'll tell you I can't even remember what I said an hour ago.) But then again, it could be the rabbit routine that's making me look at this last week through rose-colored glasses ;-)

  24. Kady: The little things are the big things aren't they? I'm glad that you and JJ share nothings too. Nothing is so...something.

    Mary-Kate: I'm glad for you and Sean and the growth you're experiencing. But that "silly wabbit" routine has you in such a way that you don't remember the nothings. But then...that's not a bad thing either is it? ;)


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