Saturday, January 22, 2011

"Hitting 'Pause on Cue"

Nothing can challenge a relationship more than the “winds of change” – even a solid Dd relationship. SugarAnne has arrived. We knew it was coming. The signs have been there – undulating off and on and back and forth for several months . And now - now it’s here. SugarAnne has hit ‘pause right on cue – menopause that is.
The “winds”, gusting with a force that is worthy of Dorothy’s last name (Gale), send her swirling about in a hormonal tempest of hurricaniacal proportions. She gets hot flashes, experiences sleepless nights, has hypersensitive emotions as well as heightened senses. All day one day it was, “Ooooh that smell? Can’t you smell that smell?”. I'm like, “Yeah I smell it. It’s called menopause. And it stinks like the rancid fart of a constipated buffalo!”

It’s been kinda like living with a whole bunch of new people. Namely, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloaty and Forgetful (there’s no sign of Itchy, Bitchy and Psycho yet – but there’s still time). According to the ‘net, Sugar is not nearly – I repeat, not nearly – as bad as she could be. At least not yet. And hopefully she’ll never be (there’s some real horror stories out there!) I sleep with one eye open just in case. But as she goes through her stuff, I’m going through my own stuff in response to her going through her stuff. And all of this stuff is tossing our big ole Dd cruise ship around like a toy dingy in a whirlpool with the jets on full thrust.

I don’t have a complete handle on this thing yet (probably never will). And I confess, the turbulence can cause confidence to trickle out of my Domdentity like pee pee out of a sneezing girl. That old doubt from the early days begins to seep back in. You know, doubt about giving instructions and expecting them to be followed. And doubt about following up with the “consequences” – believe it or not.

But thanks to over a year of “this thing we do”, I can at least recognize some (not all) of the opportunities to “help” Sugar to stop, settle down and get beyond when she’s trapped inside of herself. That’s when it’s my time to “hit pause on cue”.

Recently I gave myself a 10.0 on executing when one of those “opportunities” presented itself. Yeah I graded myself. I need the confidence boost okay?! So sue me.

I noticed that Sugar was on the cusp of crippling anxiety the other day. Some unspoken worry had wrinkled her forehead. Her hunched up shoulders betrayed accumulated tension. When she’s like that I feel it’s my obligation as her protector to break in and help her escape. Obligation and Motivation: 10.0

I called her over, disregarding her weak protests (she seemed to know what she needed too). I had her slide her own jeans down and peel back her own panties. How’s that for confidence, huh? Confidence: 10.0

I spoke to her softly reassuring her that no matter how kooky she gets (said in a nice way of course) that I’ll be there for her. I made it clear that I understood what she was going through (to the extent that I could, thanks to the internet) and that I desired to comfort her best I could. Artistic Expression: 10.0

As I spoke to her I began to gently massage her bottom, then spank gently with my hand. Switching to the leather paddle the spanks rose in speed and intensity until they were harder than a cold winter morning. She got all squirmy-squrimy. I dig that.

I slowed the swats down until they were as loving and as gentle as a summer breeze under her skirt. We went through this winter/summer process for about 20 or 25 minutes. I then sent her to the bedroom where I "stuck the landing" by making love to her slow and sweet. Technical Merit: 10.0

Yes, yo’boy B’Man is feeling pretty proud of himself. And SugarAnne? Well, she’s “happier than the morning sun” – at least for now. We’re still navigating the waters of these “winds of change”. And we will be for some time I suppose. But it’s good to have the confidence to be able to step up to the plate and “hit pause on cue” to stop the madness – if only for a while.


  1. Love the "grading method"....your confidence throughout all of these changes is what is and will keep her feeling secure and loved. I have to say the picture is pretty terrible!!!

  2. I am sure I have told you this before, but in the event, that I have not - I love the way you express yourself, taking me on both your journeys..
    This was a bittersweet and funny post, only the way you can do it.



  3. This post had me laughing. I think it's a great picture! :)

  4. And the gold medal goes to... B'Man!!

    I am sure SugarAnne is grateful to have you there to pull her out of herself! I think it says alot about your love for her that you are trying to understanding the crazies of menopause!


  5. B'man, what a relief to read that you are pleased with yourself.

    Menopause? We're a little further down the road than you.

    All I can say is buckle up and hang on.

  6. B'Man - Sounds like you're captaining your ship through these "winds of change" just fine. SA is lucky to have a husband who takes the time to research and understand what she's going through, and isn't afraid of the occasional "intervention." ;-) Way to go!


  7. Wow, wonderful post! I could feel your elation as you won the gold medal, and how deserved it was too! Great grading system!
    I feel truly blessed. I sailed through my menopause without a single hitch... my "monthlies" became 3monthly, then one day I noticed they hadn't come at all for 5 or 6 months, and they never did return. Gone. Thats it. I'm done. Its been 2 years now. Not a hot flush (call them power surges!) not an ache or pain or mood swing or...anything.
    Girls, I am so sorry for those of you who seem to suffer. And for you guys who try so manfully to circumnavigate the globe of terror! Hugs, hang on in there, all of you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  8. Congratulations for cuing in on the pause. The out of control feelings are very scary for the one experiencing them, and I'm glad that you were able to bring sunshine to SugarAnne's life. I am sure she is much more secure knowing you are there for her. If we could bottle and sell TTWD, we could make a fortune off the poor hubby's that are helpless/cluess.


  9. o man u described me and I'm 32 but yes i could be going thrue menopause weird ya say my mom and sister were 34 so pray for Tyler lol but know really i been wondering and u were describing ne hmmm

    anyway i always luv your post u are so crazy loli

  10. Judy: I grade myself in a lot of things but rarely in "ttwd" (though obviously sometimes). And when all the components come together like they did this time I can barely resist. I'm sure I'll be humbled soon enough.

    The picture? Horribly good! That is if you're talking about the second one - sticking the landing. It can be applied to all phases of life.

    Raven: I do believe I remember you telling me that before. Then, like now, I remember appreciating the sentiment too. Thanks!

    Bonnie-jo: I think you're talking about the first picture.'s funny - OUT THERE where you are - in a safe place. But living it ain't funny for anybody. We're managing though.

    Audra: Gold Medal?! "I wanna thank...". Can'tcha just see me, my gold medal and my paddle on all those Wheaties boxes?

    Mick: You're scaring me man! Do you think I'll need driver side airbags too?

    RW: Indeed, quite a few of the websites I visited gave kudos if you were a guy doing research. I guess I care. But don't tell anybody 'k?

    Daisychain: This must be TMI Tuesday ;)
    I'm sure you would've been a real bear if Davey were around to experience it. As it were, you probably had no one in the immediate vicinity to take it all out on. I think Davey is the lucky one in that regard. Like you, I'm sorry for my girl - as well as all the other girls that have to go through this crap.

    Kady: Yes, she's feeling secure now. I love the effect these sessions have on her for a couple of days. It really is a joy to behold. I'm still concerned about my own security though. Itchy, Bitchy and Psycho are still out there somewhere.
    Signed: Sleeping with one eye open.

    daisy christian: What th-?! Huh? Oh...yes, praying for Tyler. You so crazy too. lol!

  11. I'm glad you guys are figuring out the rough waters.

    So in the DD Olympics, is there an ice skating event? I'd pay to see that. :)

  12. Great post Babyman,, Good luck with this, hope she has smooth sailing. Galway

  13. They are not hot flashes they are our own tropical get aways. Sleepless we are just reliving our teenage years-you know when we could go on no sleep at all. Has hypersensitive emotions as well as heightened senses-HEY we are females we are always emotional and have heightened senses.

    LOL just joking Bman...I can so relate to what Sugar is going through. Those winds are blowing this way also.

  14. You are quite dedicated, hope she graded you as well. :) Certainly sounds like the "pause" has potential for a roller coaster ride.
    You have a great writing style, descriptive to a fault. Always a joy to read (although I'm glad my HOH doesn't have the opportunity!)

  15. Monica: Yes, it's working out so far. She's really not that bad and I'm grateful for that. Dd Olympic ice-skating? Hm, I'd pay to see that too!

    Galway giirl: So far so good. I hope you're right about that smooth sailing thing.

    Annie: That's hilarious! But buying into that doesn't make it any easier for me - or any more fun for her for that matter. Sorry the winds are picking up in your area. I hope it brings the relatively mild weather we're having over here.

    Stormy: Welcome to the blog! The 'pause is just a kiddie coaster so far. I realize that. And yes, she graded me? The next day I suggested that she received a perfect spanking. She said, quite sarcastically, "Yeah, Perfect".
    She'll never outright admit it. There's a little joy in that.

  16. Hang in There B'Man. This too shall pass, but in the meantime, I agree that, at least to me, it sounds like you guys' are doing just fine.

    I've been a wall flower lately, hanging back in the shadows, but I'm still here, and still reading.

    Something tells me that no matter how fearsome the "gale force winds", you won't let your ship be wrecked. Nice job ;)


  17. Hearing sugaranne and you talking about menapouse terrifies me. I really hope the 'weather' gets better soon for you both. It sounds like your two are doing the best job you can despite the 'storm'

    I'm sure SA thought she had a perfect spanking also. Shes' just too shy to tell you *L*

  18. Jenn: Don't worry, I see you lurking back there in the shadows. Thanks for the encouragement. I think we are doing quite well too. No shipwreck in the foreseeable future.

    SS: No since in being afraid, just deal with the clouds when they do come your way. You guys are sharpening your tools through "ttwd". You'll be more than prepared. But that'll be a while so don't worry about now.

  19. This one had me laughing! Maybe I wouldn't laugh if I were in the same boat, but had me giggling, nonetheless... thanks!
    - Mary-Kate

  20. The other night it was 9F here and I wore a TANK top to bed! My Sir was bundled in his flannel pj bottoms,a shirt AND a cardigan,he thought he might be cold that is until the human FURNACE got into bed! I don't do well with chemicals,so I have been taking Estroven and it is helping with the night sweats,but I STILL put out enough heat to well heat our bed and maybe the room,though it was 64F (in the room) when we fell asleep,not sure what it was when we woke up.

  21. Mary-Kate: Your ship will come in. Perhaps it will be my turn to laugh then. Until then, let our misery be your joy.

    Scunge: Oh nooooo! Not you too? So sorry - for Sir too. I hope the winds cool down soon.

    I'm diggin' Sir's sense of fashion (and readiness) - nap time on the bottom, tea time on the top, warm overall.

  22. Been going through this for a number of years now,don't have the mood swings thank goodness and it isn't considered FULL menopause until you go one ENTIRE year without your period,I had almost made it and the Mother Nature decided to appear in November! She has not made an appearance again since so crossed fingers that this time is the REAL deal and NOT peripause which is what it is called before menopause.


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