SugarAnne Talks BabyMan, "Girly Shit"

My Babyman is a loving, generous man who deserves so much more than I can give him. I guess I have this “I’m not worthy” complex that I have to try to get over. I think I have a fear of failing, or not hitting the mark in my attempts to become the woman I know he wants me to be. I rarely spend money for my own pleasure or my own physical improvement (make up, beauty salons, girly shit, etc.) I think it took me a while to realize that spending money on myself is more for his pleasure… not mine, and as a result, when I see that “I’m so attracted to you look” on his face, my heart just melts. The fact that he wants to shop for me is exciting! He has a vision of me that I never saw for myself. Beautiful, and feminine. Truthfully, I’ve always been a blue jeans and tee shirt kind of girl, and dressing up and painting my face and nails is a once-in-a-while endeavor that I reserve for anniversaries, weddings and birthday parties. And frankly, I’d rather put $60.00 in the savings account than give it to some overpriced hairdresser. But he’s got a thing for “girly shit,” and now I’m beginning to appreciate the whole concept. Now when I’m in a store, instead of heading for the jeans rack, I start looking at the skirts (he likes what he refers to as” poofy skirts” that are kind of short and flair out). My feet are a bit misshapen and high heels are agony for me, but I am on a constant quest to find those perfect “girly shit” shoes that I think he might like. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve found immense happiness in his happiness, even if it forms blisters on my feet. I haven’t become comfortable with wearing makeup everyday, (it clogs my pores and stains my clothes) but I’ve found that he’s quite happy with just a little lip color.I love the idea that he’s proud of me when we go out (sometimes). I’ve never been what one might call a beauty, I’ve always seen myself as a bit plain… but when I’m with him I feel like I could grace the cover of Glamour Magazine. Now that is quite an accomplishment on his part. I thank God for him everyday, and I pray that someday I’ll be the woman of his dreams. That will be a long and arduous process.

signed: SugarAnne